SkyMeadow Retreat Center, Golden Shadow

Golden Shadow Weekend
An experience in community and growth

Friday June 4 - Sunday June 6
2004

Golden Shadow Mission
To provide opportunities for personal and community growth and learning that involve sharing leadership, creativity and playfulness - and the sacred - in an environment of mutual respect and trust.

About the weekend:
The planning committee welcomes you to the Golden Shadow weekend. We welcome men and women of all ages, orientations, races and forms, to come together to expand individual notions of community and personal identity. The basic concept is that the weekend has no fixed leadership or significant structure, and the participants come together to lead or co-create experiences with each other, or simply to participate. We invite and welcome your creative ideas and contributions.

Some of the experiences of past weekends have included:
·    small group discussions, generally on inner experiences or issues
·    opening and closing ceremonies
·    sweat lodge - derived from a Native American purification ceremony (intending no disrespect, we have been inspired by a traditional ceremony and shape it and make it our own)
·    group singing, music making, drumming, poetry reading, dancing, creative writing, painting and other arts
·    silent meditation walks, or meditation time inside

Tentative Schedule
(All activities are optional)
Friday
Arrive at Sky Meadow on Friday evening between 5:00 and 7:00.
6:00-7:30 Light dinner buffet served
8:00-11:00 Opening ceremony followed by opening circle (a time to say what you need to say in order to feel more fully present in the group)

Saturday
7:00-8:00 Morning activity
8:00-9:00 Breakfast
9:00-9:30 Drumming
9:30-12:00 Small group discussion/activity
12:00 Lunch
1:00-3:00 Open activity time (Give some thought to a workshop you might want to facilitate)
3:00-5:00 Sweat lodge building
5:00-6:30 Moving meditation (dance)
7:00 Dinner
8:30 Open Stage/ co-creative entertainment

Sunday
7:00-9:00 Sweat lodge/ alternate activity time
10:30 Brunch
12:00-1:00 Clean-up
1:00-2:00 Closing circle - a time to check out and briefly convey your thoughts
2:00 End (People are welcome to stay extra time to play or connect more)

Additional Information

Housing and food:
This is an alcohol and drug-free weekend. Housing is dormitory-style with beds for 18. For people who require more privacy, camping and more rustic shelter is available.   The weekends are held at the beautiful and remote Sky Meadow Retreat Center in Stannard, VT with 120 acres of woodland including trails, open fields, ponds, and hills. Directions to Sky Meadow will be sent upon registration.

   The cost includes four meals and light refreshments. Some of the meals will be prepared by participants (who have volunteered); some will be prepared by Sky Meadow staff. Meals are primarily meat-free, with plenty of vegetarian food choices.

Registration (pre-registration required):
The anticipated cost of the weekend per person is $100. We are asking for a fee of $110 (or more) with the surplus to be used for a scholarship fund. Limited financial assistance from the scholarship fund is available.
For more information, or to register, call Sam Sanders at 802-654-4326, or e-mail ssanders@vpr.net.
Please register no later than one week before the retreat, so that we will know how much food to buy.

About the sweat lodge:
Our sweat ceremony is freely and respectfully adapted from Native American purification ceremonies. The purpose is cleansing of the whole being - mental and physical, emotional and spiritual. This is done in an atmosphere of trust and support.
The group sits in a circle inside a small dome covered with blankets. Hot rocks are brought in from a fire pit outside. When water is poured on the rocks, hot steam fills the dark sweat lodge.
Usually we attempt four “rounds” of about twenty minutes each. A leader is designated to set the tone inside the sweat. The leader may request a meditative silence or suggest group sharing on a particular theme. Participants are encouraged to recognize and respect their own limits, both physical and emotional, in order to receive maximum benefit from this experience.
There is a pond nearby for cooling off, and drinking water is provided.

It should be noted that clothing is optional during the sweat.

Pre-registration is required for this weekend, as is a committment to attend the
whole event. Space is limited so register early to guarantee a place. Beds are claimed as
you arrive and there is no reserved housing. We regret that we cannot accomodate pets or
children. This is an alcohol and drug, free event. Housing fees assume
that you bring your own linnens, towel and pillow case.

For more information or to register for the weekend, e-mail or call Sam Sanders at

ssanders@vpr.net 802-654-4326 (w)

Golden Shadow - A weekend experience in community
An inspirational essay on shared leadership - offered by Miles

        A foundation principle for this weekend is the radical notion of shared
leadership. A guiding core group will meet to set a basic outline for the weekend
including the logistical details of sleeping and eating arrangements, money, and basic
boundaries. Once the weekend begins, leadership becomes the responsibility and right of
each person present. Each participant in the weekend is free to create their own
experience.   The idea for the Golden Shadow group has it’s roots in several other
established communities which have learned to operate with shared leadership. Some of
us bring experiences in those other communities as seeds to plant in the soil of this new
territory. We have seen it work and feel some commitment to establishing it here.

    Shared leadership is based on the idea that, while individual initiative is often
required to motivate, inspire, organize, and create a container for an experience of
community, that initiative does not have to come from one person all the time. In fact it is
much more natural and less stressful to share this responsibility and the recognition that
often accompanies it.   This way of being in community allows for a flow of influence
and power within the group and ultimately can result in magical and spontaneous
experiences of joining.   It can also be very challenging as it is a model that is unfamiliar
to many of us.

                  My experiences being part of a family and society which operates by a
principle of dominant leadership have been filled by a sense of powerlessness and a belief
that my feelings don’t matter. I have often gone off alone in order to get a sense that I am
in control and have some say in what happens around me. Then I end up missing
companionship and the support that comes from sharing life with others. Being alone and
making decisions for myself allows me a feeling of power and control in my life but
leaves me without a sense of belonging. I try to substitute a sense of personal power and
autonomy for the feeling of connection with others that I long for most deeply.   In this
lonely place I often crave material possesions, food, or other sensual stimulation, thinking
that getting my personal needs met will fill the hollow inside me.

    A solution to this dilemma begins with me being aware of my fear based habit of
evaluating every situation as good or bad for me. When I am in this pattern, I impulsively
grasp onto what I think I need to satisfy these deeply unconscious longings, and I fight to
get and maintain as many of them as I can, never questioning whether they are truly
giving me what I want. In my struggle to get what I think I want based on my habit of
fear of loss, I often isolate myself believing that I cannot get my needs met around other
people.

    Once I am conscious of this pattern of thought, I can begin to loosen my grip
around it. As I do that I become aware of what I really want, without the unconscious
fears that censor my true desires. Then I can look for opportunities to connect with my
desires, and often at this point I realize that they blend miraculously with those of my
companions. I begin to recognize that intimacy with other people fills the void inside me
that getting my personal needs met has never been able to fully satisfy.

               The challenge of this approach is that I must think and make decisions for
myself while considering the needs of those around me. I have been taught to do one or
the other. My conditioning either tells me it is selfish and wrong to think of my own
needs and my job is to only consider others, or that my only responsibility is to take care
of myself regardless of anyone else.   I have a story that says I either sacrifice my needs
for those of others or I get what I want at the expense of those around me.

    If I believe these are the only two options, this leaves me feeling stressed and torn
much of the time. My longing for connection and belonging is pitted against my
seemingly endless personal needs.   When I am in this story there is no way for a
successful outcome or one which feels good. I either feel greedy and selfish or resigned
and resentful. In the first I have abandoned myself by not including my needs, and in the
second I have separated myself from others in order to get what I think I need.   Both
approaches leave me feeling isolated.

    Shared leadership is a healthier way to approach community as it allows each
person to take care of their own needs while maintaining relationships with others. I
crave companionship and am afraid of it at the same time because of my habit of
abandoning myself when I am around other people. This new way requires that I be fully
present with myself and present with those around me. It challenges me to find ways to
meet my needs that include my companions and their needs.

    For community to work there needs to be leadership: some element of
organization that allows us to move as a group while honoring each members
individuality.   Leadership is simply the minimum influence needed to maintain a sense of
safety and cohesion and direction for the group.   That leadership does not have to come
from one individual as so often happens in human society. Rather, it can be seen as a set
of functions necessary to create the container of community.   There is nothing which
prevents these functions of leadership being shared by all members.

    For shared leadership to work it is essential that I recognize both the power and
responsibility that goes along with the ability to influence others. There needs to be a
willingness on my part to both influence and be influenced. I have to value what I have
to offer and what other’s have to offer equally. In a culture like ours which prizes
individual accomplishments, this way of thinking goes against the grain and can feel very
uncomfortable. Yet, shared leadership is a form which seems most true and natural and
suited to my deepest longings for individual freedom within community.

    Our weekends are the perfect setting to explore new ways of leadership and
experiment with getting our needs met within the context of community. This experiment
seems vital and alive to me because it is breaking new ground in an area that I experience
a great need for healing. How we join and move together is critical to our sense of
completion and wholeness. I see us as pioneers navigating the relatively unknown waters
of intentional shared leadership and mutually empowering relationships.